I’ve found myself wondering from time to time, is life like something from ‘the truman show’ ? Are we all just little ants in a world way beyond our own imaginations?
People search everyday, thousands… millions search online looking for answers for questions. Questions that range from things such as a daily chore, from day to day life to questions that can adapt the mind, that can educate us, that can leave us intrigued. The amount of times i’ve asked Google the question, ‘What is love?’ Or ‘What should i do if…’ Its a machine, it’s a search engine that a genius human being has created, that a person just like you and I, has made millions upon millions of dollars for… and rightly so.
But… still, a person can make a machine, make technology that can answer such a phrase or question within 0.0003 something seconds, a person can design and create such an amazing thing. Yet, they don’t have the answers themselves. No-one does. Everyones idea is soo far-fetched, so distorted and so unrealistic from the next. Everyones idea is completely different from the next. One of my wants in life is to travel the world to meet different people, to learn from each person i meet and encounter in every walk in life and i can guarantee that each man will give me a completely different answer from the next. I know that one man will say love is money, the next his pet, the next his wife, the next his car, the next his lover etc. Everyone, brought up different from the next with a different mind and a different set of ideas. Everyone with a different idea on love.
Mine personally changes with the days.
Today i realised, lifes like a cycle. Relationships CAN, not always but they CAN develop a cycle. For example; my ex boyfriend when we first met, was the most amazing, charming, insightful and intelligent man i’d ever met, he promised me the moon and the stars and he told me all the things i wanted to hear, then a few years later, he decided that the things that he fell in love with me for were the exact same reasons why he didnt like me or want me then. And now, my boyfriend of 13 months seems to be suffering the same syndrome. I wonder if its me. I wonder if im doing something wrong. He promised me the world, couldnt get enough of me and couldnt hold me tight enough and now, 13 months later he holds me once a day because I ASK him to and he can seriously get enough of me! Things that he loved about me then arent good enough now.
So after hours of thought and self-doubt i decided, its not my fault. I never once put myself across to these men as anything other than i am, ive always been and always will be the same girl who would quicker run into the pouring rain in a t-shirt to dance about like a complete freak than sit in a salon getting my nails done.
Relationships for me, have a cycle. So does life and there is frick all that we can do about it apart from learning from others and what they think life and love is.
P.s; who CARES if i want to sit with the remote in my hand while watching T.V its something i can control and i will control it!